In defence of ebooks

So much for me blogging more often, eh? Well without going into too much detail, I've had Real Life Shit to deal with and yes, I capitalised those three words to emphasise how ver', ver' srs I are.

But I'm back for the first time in three weeks, in defence of ebooks. You wouldn't think I'd have to defend them again, owing to the fact I've sold seven of the buggers (of which more anon) but apparently so.

Just recently I've become hyperaware of the attitude that ebooks somehow aren't 'real'. They don't compare to paper and ink books that you can flick through, smell and touch. They don't have heft. You can't see the cover of whatever someone's reading if they're using an ereader. (Of course, if you want to see someone reading your book, you'd have to actually write something worth reading, but hey-ho...)

Does that make ebooks somehow 'not real'? Well, the number of people who work in the industry would say that's not the case. Writers, editors, publishers, cover artists, accountants -- are they working in the name of something that's somehow false?

I've noticed that the loudest protests come from so-called 'aspiring' writers. You know; the ones who hardly ever finish anything, and when they do it's utter crap, which explains why they're not published. They bitch about ereaders and ebooks to mask their own lack of publication credits and, dare I add, their own lack of bankable royalties cheques. These ones spend longer articulating why they're taking the high road of an agent-search for traditional publishing, than they do actually writing anything worth a damn.

So let's straighten out a few matters here, eh?

One: Ebook publishing is not 'easy'. If it were, I wouldn't have racked up any rejections on the way to publication. Admittedly I've only had eight knockbacks compared to seven acceptances, but still...that near 50/50 split shows you can't just bang something out and assume it'll be published. Or maybe I'm just a damn good writer.

As an addendum to the above point, I would ask you this, if you think it's 'easy' to get an ebook published: why haven't you done it?

Two: E-publishing and self-publishing are not the same thing. If you conflate the two in your tiny little mind, you are a dumb fuck, and yes, I would say that to your ugly little face.

To make it absolutely clear: I have never paid a penny to have my books published. Not a ha'penny, not a farthing, not a groat, a red cent, nor a bottle cap. Nada.

Three: E-publishing does not mean you will never hold a print copy of your book in your hands. Two of mine are available in print, and a further three will be so at later dates. As for the other two? Their print viability depends on sales and publicity and the decision made by the higher-ups at that particular publisher.

So, in conclusion I would say this: if you want to use your blog to sneer about ebooks, fine. I'll mop my tears on the royalties cheques I bank each month. I'll snigger at your ignorance from behind the print copies of my novels.

And I won't hold my breath for you to ever bag that agent you're determined will make you more of a writer.

No, dear. Only one thing makes you a writer: writing.

You ought to try it sometime.

n.b. And yes, I did say I'd sold seven manuscripts. Have a peek at the 'coming soon' page on this blog for more details. Shape shifter filth FTW!